Broken Hallelujahs

We’ve received so many amazing stories involving our song “Broken Hallelujah”. Here’s a heart wrenching one we’d like to share with you… Send us your story as well, we’d love to hear it!

– Josh


“Dear Afters, I would like to let you know how your song “Broken Hallelujah” has helped me through the toughest time in my life. On Tuesday, October 8th, my sister, who was 21 weeks pregnant, heard the news that the daughter she was carrying no longer had a heartbeat. My sister and my brother-in-law are some of the strongest people I have ever met. Both personalty-wise and with their faith. I struggled with the news and the entire family (my mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, niece, husband, and son) who are so very close, were devastated as it was completely unexpected news. We spoke of Caroline Kate daily and looked toward the future with anticipation of all of the joy she was going to bring to our family. We were buying clothes and making plans when our world seemed to come crashing down with the news that Caroline Kate was no longer with us. 

My sister delivered my precious niece, Caroline Kate, at 11:34pm on the 8th at just 21 weeks old. She was so beautiful. She had her 8-year-old sister, Lilly’s, nose. She had the most perfect and tiniest fingers and toes. We fell in love with her! We were able to hold her for a few hours before we had to say goodbye. 

On the way home from the hospital, very early on Wednesday morning, my husband, 2-year-old son, and I were very quiet on the way home. The radio was going softly and I kept hearing glimpses of this song. Certain parts just stuck out to me, “I can barely stand right now. Everything is crashing down” and “Even though I don’t know what your plan is, I know You’re making beauty from these ashes.” I was completely broken at that moment and each of these words felt like they were coming straight from my heart, even though I had no strength and didn’t even know where to start to pray. I asked my husband the name of the song, which he knew, and I immediately looked it up after waking up later that morning. I was amazed at how each and every line identified with how I felt at that exact moment. And honestly, how these words still identify with me.

Tomorrow will be a week since we lost Caroline Kate and honestly, I am still struggling with sadness and anger but I use this song as a prayer to God when I struggle with what to say. I know that he hears our prayers through song too and I am so glad He sent this song to me at the exact moment that I needed it. 

I shared the song with my sister today and she also finds it very helpful when the words just won’t come. So, thank you for writing such a prayerful song. A song that others can use when they have no words to speak and don’t even know where to start.”

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